The party enters the ruins, whereupon they are greeted by a disembodied voice in forming them that great awesome lies at the top of the tower. Needing no further incentive, the party faces a series of trials designed to test their physical and mental resolve:
The Trial of the Invisible Portal: The party is led into a never-ending hallway that infinitely repeats itself. They search the walls thoroughly and eventually discover a door hidden in the wall. Then they walk through the door.
The Trial of the Catlike Agility: A few platforms falls from the sky, and a nimble party member is required to cross them and pull a lever on the other side of the room. Luckily, the party has exactly one nimble member, and Gai crosses the gaps without incident and summons the bridge for everybody else.
The Trial of the Ridiculous Physics: The party has to work their way across a long pit with few platforms, greased ledges, and a pit that deposits fallen objects back at the beginning or the room. Gai strings a rope across the ledge and the party makes it across the ledge, but it takes Kangohei a hilarious number of tries.
The Trial of the Slippery Floor: The party is forced to slide across a large room filled with randomly-placed walls in order to make it to the exit. Using teamwork, they manage to get most of the party across, and Gai retrieves the rest of the party with cheating.
The Trial of the Bad Literature: The party is attack by twin authors, Sue and Mary, who attack by shouting passages from terrible, terrible fanfiction (and also by using claws and a bite attack). Truly bad fanfiction never dies, so the party is forced into somewhat evil and very messy means to finally dispatch the authors.
The Trial of the Imperative Ascension: The party skips the remaining trials with an elevator.
At the top of the tower, the party meets Dick Grayson, who is one of the Nine Awesomes. He tells the party that they must go to another planet, but first talk to a god, but first turn off a cloaking device to turn off a second cloaking device to find the god. Khorvash wasn’t paying a lot of attention, but the point is that the party is going to get erotic.